39 5.1.2. Twain quotes

  • “Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.”
  • “Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.”
  • “It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt.”
  • “Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.”
  • “Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.”
  • “Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times.”
  • “Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn’t.”
  • “In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.”
  • “A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.”
  • “Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.”
  • “Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.”
  • “The lack of money is the root of all evil.”
  • “If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes there ten years later.”
  • “All generalizations are false, including this one.”
  • “There are lies, damned lies and statistics.”
  • “It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.”
  • “To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.”
  • “If it’s your job to eat a frog, it’s best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it’s your job to eat two frogs, it’s best to eat the biggest one first.”
  • “I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
  • “Never put off ‘til tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.”
  • “The trouble ain’t that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain’t distributed right.”
  • “Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.”
  • “Classic: A book which people praise and don’t read.”
  • “Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so we can have some conversation.”
  • “Familiarity breeds contempt – and children.”
  • “My books are like water; those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water.”
  • “Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.”
  • “When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.”
  • “Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.”
  • “Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial ‘we.’”
  • “The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner.”
  • “The Public is merely a multiplied ‘me.’”
  • “Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.”

Comments are closed.